#[ he doesnt Enjoy death but he's mostly numb to it

[soulstarve]

failure to save someone from dying

Send my muse a fear you see them having, and they will rate it from 0-10 depending on how much it frightens them - accepting

     Wortox hummed nonchalantly, tapping his chin at thought at the question. A bit rude he found it, but he was willing to let himself apart of this bit. In the end, he merely shrugged and see-sawed his claws.

“ It’s never a fun prank to be had, seeing your companion perish, quite sad. ”   He dragged a sigh,   “ But death is the inevitable end to be had, if i stopped to think about it, hyuyu! I’d be driven quite mad! ”

     He snickered, if only because he was already a bit loony. But it was the truth, for once, he must say. Not to mention he’d already failed to save... He’d seen so many lives lost in his time, caused some and thrives off of it, even. It was his curse to bare, in the end.

“ Truly is a sad sad truth, mortals are so awfully vulnerable, aren’t they? ”   he murmured, mostly to himself,   “ Worse so when they refuse to let me help. ”

5/10`

[vmprwtch]

—    basics.

▸     is    your    muse    tall    /    short    /    average ?

alec’s height is deceptive. he’s 5′8 but his body is built so lean/long and he has such a haughty, proud sort of posture that he appears much taller.

▸      are    they    okay    with    their    height ?

he’s okay with everything about him, physically. he only lashes out at people who mock it to remind them how powerful he is, not because he’s insecure about his height.

▸     do    they    spend    a    lot    of    time    on    their    hair     /    grooming ?

oh yes. Alec is very into grooming. it’s definitely a major self care tool when it comes to easing his anxiety but he’s also just straight up concerned with his appearance. his hair isnt done up very special, it’s just sort of stylishly disheveled. his grooming is important and his outfits and everything else are a big deal to him.

▸      does   your   muse   care   about   their   appearance   /   what    others    think ?

he cares about his appearance because it is an external reflection of his power and status. he likes to brag, to make people feel inferior to him. he finds it easy but also important to keep constant. he doesnt care what people think about him though. he just enjoys the superiority and intimidation.

—    preferences.

▸     indoors    or    outdoors ?  indoors.

▸      rain    or    sunshine ?    rain.

▸   forest    or    beach ?      forest.

▸     precious    metals    or    gems ?   gems.

▸     flowers    or    perfumes ?    perfumes (+roses).

▸     personality    or    appearance ?     appearance.

▸      being    alone    or    being    in    a    crowd ?     being alone.

▸      order    or    anarchy ?  neither - power.

▸      painful    truths    or    white    lies ?   painful truths.

▸   science    or    magic ?     magic.

▸      peace    or    conflict ?     peace.

▸     night    or    day ?     night.

▸      dusk    or    dawn ?  dusk.

▸     warmth    or    cold ?  cold.

▸      many   acquaintances    or    a    few    close    friends ?      a few close friends.

▸   reading    or    playing    a    game ?   reading.

—    questionnaire.

▸      what    are    some    of    your    muse’s    bad    habits ?

besides cold hearted murder? definitely smoking. Alec smokes constantly and he loves it and its terrible for him. he also drinks quite heavily and definitely uses it to numb his pain and treat his mental illness. he also isolates himself a lot. like a ton. and thats definitely not good for him. he sometimes goes long periods without his meds to inflict harm on himself and enters into dangerous relationships. he’s self harming in those sorts of life choices rather than inflicting bodily harm on himself.

▸      has    your    muse    lost    anyone    close    to    them ?      how    has    it    affected    them ?

oh yes. one of two people he was actually close to, his mom, died when he and his sister burned at the stake. it left him with a soft spot for mother figures but also reluctant to ever allow anyone into his little family circle that included him, his mother, and Jane. it is all tied up in his experience dying but basically it has made him paranoid, distant, distrusting, and pessimistic.

▸      what    are    some    fond    memories    your    muse    has ?

his only memories of true pure happiness are few and far between. picking wildflowers in a field with Jane in their village; dinners at home with his sister and mother; one of his mother’s birthdays when everything felt happy and good; caius’s face when Alec mastered his power; Jane mastering hers; spending time with his sister throughout the centuries; when he killed the pope. theyre mostly tied to his few memories of human life or his collection of power.

▸     is    it    easy    for    your    muse    to    kill ?

incredible easy. he does so without feeling. he’s indifferent. to him, life and death are inescapable, both evil and blessed at times. an individual moves between them based upon their power and the power wielded by others. thats all. he doesnt feel bad for people dying and he doesnt fear it himself. he just wants to live out of pure animalistic survival instinct.

▸      what’s    it    like    when    your    muse    breaks    down ?

absolute chaos. he flies into a state of mind much like a wounded animal. its hard for him to differentiate between friends and foes. only Jane is truly safe. he fills with rage and panic and pain. his power will go out of control, blanketing his surroundings in numbness. he lashes out in every way he can with little organization, just pure power. he will often isolate himself in an attempt to numb himself once more. it’s rare that he loses control because he holds onto it so tightly, but it is ugly when he does.

▸     is    your    muse    capable    of    trusting    someone    with    their    life ?

in a strategic sense, he can feel safe letting someone protect him or work with him knowing that his power and strength is enough to protect him against them and mostly intimidate them into cooperating. however he is almost entirely incapable of truly trusting another person with his life. in a millennia, only Jane has received that honor. even those I ship him with have a great deal to work through to get to that point.

▸     what’s    your    muse    like    when    they’re    in    love ?

it’s highly rare, so there’s very little pattern to it. often more irritable to others but less venomous to the individual. that is to say, he wants more alone time and will be somewhat more tolerable to the person he loves. if he’s in a relationship with them, he opens up quite a lot. he finally lets his personality show as he only does with Jane. he becomes affectionate, almost clingy, possessive, attentive, protective, passionate. he begins to share himself in waves as he seeks to be known and grow closer and closer till they’re tangled all together.

TAGGED BY: @reignofolympus TAGGING: @agedrot @caremels @puerperditus @wldbirds @louisianahorror @lahote @heldrage @misbehavc @witchpyre

[talknerdytome67-blog]

Loss

What did it mean that there were no handbooks for me? That people asked me to be strong in the face of the biggest loss I'd ever experienced or imagined? At times I felt like I didn't deserve to feel so shattered, especially in the shadow of my parents' immense loss but losing a twin is like losing half of yourself.

When I was 22, my twin brother, who was my only sibling, died. He had huffed duster while driving resulting in immediate brain death causing him to hit a tree at over 90mph. That day wasnt like any other day because a few months earlier I woke up and knew he was going to die. Just not how or when. The day the phone rang and I heard my mom say dark, foreign words like car accident, unresponsive, drugs, life support was the most impactful day of my life. In the thickness of shock, I didn't realize that the rest of my life would be measured in before and after. Before, when my family was intact. After, when I would somehow be forced to learn to live without the person I was supposed to get a lifetime with.

"Be strong for your parents," said blurs of people at Trevor's memorial service. I nodded, but inside me, something twisted. I stood in a daze as people streamed by, offering their awkward words and hugs. Be strong for your parents? I thought. How can I be strong for them when half my soul just died and I dont even know how to be strong for myself.

After

I was barely breathing. I was barely standing there. I was numb and strong was the last thing I felt. One thing is for sure I felt angry at my brother for leaving me here. For abandoning me. It's funny how I found myself consoling complete strangers over the death of my brother and yet these very people werent there for him when he was alive and struggling w addiction. Why is it that no one seems to truly care about you until tragedy strikes and then suddenly your life meant so much to them. They say things like "I didn't see this coming" "Why didn't they reach out"

In the early months after Trevors death at 22, I existed in a heavy fog. Nothing was as I knew it. I'd been forced to abandon the little life I'd once known. My friends were living their lives -- going to college, working, falling in and out of love and lust. Meanwhile, my life had stopped and I no longer recognized the world around me.

My home was filled with the cloying scent of flowers just starting to die. It struck me just then how terrible it was that we send flowers to the grieving -- here you go, another reminder that nothing is permanent, that everything lovely will be lost.

My brother's absence was heavy in the house. Though he had died in Peoria, his room was still scattered with relics: the bed he had slept in for so many years, his skateboarding hoodies hanging like shadows in the closets, a handful of videos and books. Memories pinned to each corner. His beloved Ferret Ember waiting for her best friend who was never coming home.

Having always taken comfort in words, I scoured the internet for a book for someone like me -- a barely adult whose (barely) adult twin brother had died. What I found was unimpressive: There were more books on losing a pet than losing a brother or sister, especially a twin. A few books existed for surviving children after a death in the family, but they were for small children. One memoir documented a sister's grief following her brother's death, but it was out of print.

What did it mean that there were no handbooks for me? That people asked me to be strong in the face of the biggest loss I'd ever experienced or imagined? At times I felt like I didn't deserve to feel so shattered, especially in the shadow of my parents' immense loss. I felt guilty for missing him.

A few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant and my world took another 360* hit. I decided I needed to join a support group so I sat in a circle with a few widows and widowers, a woman whose daughter had died, and a woman whose mother had died. I was younger than any of them by at least 30 years, but I could relate to their shares: "I feel like I'm going crazy." "I'm so damned angry right now." "I can't sleep at night." "My anxiety is at an all time high"

Though the losses were different, the feelings were the same and we were all barely coping.

My parents, who adopted us at 2 would never be the same. Their pain was almost visible, as if a piece of their bodies had been cut out. I had lost myself, too, or at least the version of me that was unscathed by tragedy: an innocent version, who walked around in some parallel universe where her brother was still alive, ignorant to the incredible fortune of an entirely alive family.

My brother, my twin, my built in best friend. I miss Trevors big brown eyes. His loud laugh. He was the co-keeper of my childhood and my secret's. The person who was supposed to walk with me longer than anyone else in this life. The only other person who knew what it was like to grow up with our particular parents, in our particular home and our particular situation being adopted.

The future.

I cried for the nephews and nieces I would never have. I cried for my own daughter who would never know my brother, her uncle. How would I explain him? How would I ensure that his essence wasn't lost, that he wasn't just a figure in old photographs, a handful of stories? Suddenly i was the only person who could make my parents the grandparents they were soon to be.

I constantly grieve for all the hard times ahead when my brother wouldn't be by my side. When my parents begin to age. When my grandparents die. There would be no one to share these dark milestones with and no one to comfort me in the way he did with just his presence.

And so 3 weeks after his death Im now pregnant and despite feeling like I wanted to die from the pain and loneliness i had to stay alive. I suddenly was needing to stay healthy, to stay safe, to stay positive because I was bringing a beautiful baby girl into the world and theres no time to fall apart.

So I placed my grief on hold.

I felt like our family had been a four-legged table, and one leg had suddenly been torn off. The remaining three of us wobbled and teetered. We felt the missing leg like an amputee, each morning waking to the horrible fact that Trevor was gone and unable to stop the pain.

I wrote letters to my brother in those early months and years. At first, memories blazed through my head and I used the letters to capture them before they flitted away, gone forever: my brother walking towards me when he knew my heart had been broken and embracing me in a giant hug. The time I taught him to make snow angels in the front yard of our home, our bulkily clad limbs sliding in synchronicity under the cold afternoon sun.

Later, I wrote the letters when I needed to cry -- when the grief sat coiled and waiting in my chest, needing to be let out, released. I couldn't find the words of other bereaved twin sisters or brothers to bring me comfort, so I created my own.

One day, when I was lost in my sadness, my mom said, "You won't always feel like this. You'll have a family of your own. You'll move on." This seemed impossible in my 23 year-old new mom skin. I couldn't imagine this potential future where I lived a life my brother was no longer apart of.

But very, very slowly, I began putting my life back together. I gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl and I made the difficult decision to leave an abusive relationship and return home again. As time has gone on I notice my daughter has his love of music and animals and possesses the lighthearted spirit my brother had at the same age and I cant help but smile and think a part of him is in her.

Sometimes adult siblings aren't able to close the distance between them, all those shared experiences and time and space and relationships matter. They tether us, they twine our stories together. I pray that my children will one day remain close as they grow, and that they enjoy a long lifetime together and never take eachother for granted.

After nearly 9 years, the sharp shock and grief I felt in those early months and years are no longer constant but only come back in waves, especially around his angelversary or our birthday. It's hard to explain to people the survivors guilt I feel and the PTSD I acquired from watching him struggle to pass away after being taken off life support. It's hard to explain to people that the week of his death never gets easier to face and I tend to shut down and shut people out because I dont want to be a burden. I distance myself so my sadness doesnt spill into their lives.

Its taken 9 years for the pain to dull and for the words "your brother is dead" to stop pounding in my head -- but they did. Trevors absence is mostly a dull hurt, the ghost of an old broken bone that aches when it rains. I feel it more on holidays and anniversaries, when someone else close to me dies. Or when something funny happens and I go to text him and realize I cant. Because Hes gone.

I'll always wish he was still here. I'll always wonder what he would look like and what he'd be doing if he was still alive -- at almost 32, At 50. At 75. Who would he be today? Would he have gotten sober and started a family? Would his music career had taken off?

So with no other choice I continue on. Perhaps I am even strong, like those well-meaning mourners at my brother's memorial asked me to be. But my brother's loss will remain with me for my whole life -- just like he was supposed to.

I wish I knew how to explain to the people I love that the distance I create during anniversaries is done so they are not effected by my overwhelming sadness. I create distance because even after 9 years I am still learning how to cope and handle my grief and sometimes its easier to do alone so that theres no pressure to feel like you have to be happy and in a way continue healing.

I'm incredibly blessed with an amazing boyfriend who is patient and kind and incredibly handsome and perfect in every way. He has been incredibly understanding and supportive despite the distance I have placed between us lately and that's how I know hes who I am going to spend the rest of my life with if he'll let me.

I will forever be thankful for the time I had with my brother and the lessons he taught me but time doesn't heal all wounds and I am just finding ways to get by.

[actmale]

So I really need to get this off my chest. I learned about Griffin and the McElroys from a side sort of view (from a distance) just hearing about their good content. I didn’t really get into anything that actually involved their personalities (because amiibo corner is just a shitpost) until I learned about Cool Games Inc. which was suggested to me on youtube and I watched tons of bits and pieces and fell in love with both Griffin and N!ck.

I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts and so has my wife; we enjoy them on our long drives but it wasn’t until recently that we had any podcast we could listen to together. I decided to give Cool Games Inc. a go since I knew I liked the highlights so the whole thing couldn’t be bad. My wife and I both listened to it and loved it and joked and talked about it. It was something we could share between the two.

The night after talking about it with some friends and joking, the big N!ck “fiasco” happened. I was at work and I saw something my friend posted and looked into it and found out about the whole thing. I felt super upset to my stomach. My job is a lot of driving so I get a lot of time to listen to things, so music and podcasts have become a very important part of my life. Listening to so much music, however has given me a lot of sensory sensitivity problems, though, and this was a day I could definetly not listen to music.

I was upset for a lot of reasons. I was upset because I needed to listen to talking because of my sensory problems, but I couldn’t listen to CGI. I was also upset because in all honesty N!ck was becoming my favorite. But, also I was upset because I felt let down by him; there is so much I expected. I wanted to view all his content as though none of this had ever happened, but it had, and I could never have that be undone. It reminded me a lot of how badly I coped with the death of Satoru Iwata except this was a social death of a person, caused by their own actions.

I’m shitty and was raised as a male, so my entire life I have done problematic shit, and honestly I still do. I’ve been trying to undo it since I gained self awareness to how society acts, but I won’t lie and say that I’m cured; I’m still pretty shitty. This is most noticeable by my reaction to seeing evidence of N!ck’s actions. My first reaction was just “phew it’s not as bad as everyone made it sound, it’s just cringy flirting”. I felt this way because people I know and including me are capable and likely to flirt in such a manner. It was shitty and wrong.

So I put myself through the motions. People continued to point out hos behavior with the evidence and call it harrasment, so I asked myself. “Do I even know what ‘harrasment’ means?” and in all honesty I fucking don’t. I thought about it a lot, how all this was unsolicited and I thought about how my male friends still flirt. I sat there and thought about how they could also be harrasing women and I felt gross. My friends are harrasing women, likely, and that’s fucked up. I figured I was just too distant from the word and biased to judge and decided that even though I, as a person that was raised male, didn’t understand what harrasment was and how N!ck acted was harrasment I wouldn’t let that stop me from thinking what N!ck did was wrong.

I still had some negative feelings over N!ck’s content. I was looking forward to seeing it all, especially Car Boys and now I couldn’t or could I? I didn’t know. Just like I didn’t know what was considered harrasment, I didn’t know if it was okay to see his content. It left me messed up, because I love him and his content, but I had to not like him. Even after seeing posts that it was okay to watch and like his content, I couldn’t put myself to do it. N!ck’s content is so personality based, it’s as much him as it is whatever he is playing/doing. There is no way to fall in love with his content without falling in love with him. And, though, I couldn’t prevent the affection I already had towards him, I could prevent any more affection.

I kept up to date, every day multiple times checking over and over the tags for n!ck and polygon hoping for some consensus but also with great worry. With nothing said on the subject I was always worried If wake up one morning to the news that something terrible happened to him as if checking the tags more often would prevent something like that. I told my wife my worries and I aired my grievences to her, told her about my problems and my maleraised way of thinking and how shitty all this is. I felt shittiest however because I often wished this had not happened or that this had happened later, and thats probably the shittiest scenario. If all this had not come out or had happened later that would have been more time that the truth would not have been known, and more victims to what N!ck was doing. I felt shittiest for making this about myself and not the people that this is about.

I’ve been making do lately by listening to The Adventure Zone, partly at a friends request and partly from actively building a campaign for D&D. Today there was finally an update and N!ck has been let go and he made an apology. I read it, and let out a sigh. His apology was good in my eyes, he showed self awareness and he showed signs of atleast wanting to change. He was being let go and he is willing to change and I feel those two things are the best scenarios.

I have since looked at the reactions to what he has said and a lot of people are still angry at him and even more people are not accepting his apology. When I think about it, it really is an apology to the public and not to the victims. I guess this is just a thing that male shitty culture has numbed me to, bad apologies. So again, I have decided to not let my reaction and opinions take over me. Despite me thinking his apology is good I will side with people who understand better than I. He is not redeemed and his damage not undone. Just because I can’t see his flaws doesn’t mean I won’t treat him like he doesn’t have any. I will attempt to see hin flawed like other people do, even if I don’t fully understand it myself because that will help me understand and remove things from my personality that male culture has numbed me to.

I do rest easier however. I do feel comfortable seeing his content again, maybe because I hope he does eventually become less shitty as no one would hope he remains the same. I am still hoping with the coming time that he apologize better and do something more proactively good. I can’t say I don’t love the idea of N!ck but I will do my best not to like him. I am sorry that in this entire proccess I thought mostly of myself and held and still do hold bad views, but a public figure loved by many was treated justly when doing something wrong. I’ve never been more proud of justive being done properly, and victims being believed and treated well even by people close to N!ck. I hope this becomes a great “un-numbing” to shitty parts of male culture, so people like me won’t have to side with the oppressor or relate to them.

I still apologize to the victims for maki g any of this about me. I apologize for continuing to hold bad views and continuing to not understand the terminology and what’s going on. I’ve never been good with words and their understanding and using them well but that does not undo the problem. Being raised male and numbed to toxic behaviour does not make it okay and, though trying to help it, I will be the first to say I am not there yet and will never be. I will continue to better my views and try to understand. If literally anyone bothered to read all this, that knows me or doesnt, in the fandom or not, understanding or not, please tell me how you feel about this situation. It is hard for me to comprehend and put into words but that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be put into them. And if there is anything you can say to help me better my thought process a future me and the people I am around will be forever grateful.

[nux-morbid-art]

fallout oc questionnaire

in case anyone wanted a metric assload of info abt max mostly doing this for my benefit

Which Fallout game are they from? fallout 4

Which faction(s) did they join and which did they destroy? Why? Max initially joins the brotherhood and becomes a dedicated railroad heavy post blind betrayal. He cant stomach the thought of destroying the brotherhood, bc of the squires on board and a fair amount of allies within their ranks. Instead he enlists the help of the minutemen to maintain peace btw the 3 factions, eventually the brotherhood leave as the minutemen grow stronger

What is their S.P.E.C.I.A.L.? S: 4 P:5 C:8 I:10 A:7 L: 1

Give us a summary of their backstory.  a rowdy teenager always in trouble, comes from a large extended family, low-middle class, pulled into the high school-to-military pipe. Spent his military career just trying to survive, trained field medic. Eldest of 3 siblings, has one younger brother and sister. 

What’s their full name and does it have a meaning? Do they have any nicknames and how did they get em? Maxwell Ortiz, named after his grandfather who he was very close to. Called Vulture in high school for his looks and morbid sense of humor, earns “Mad Dog Max” in the military

What’s their sexual, romantic, and gender orientation? Do they feel comfortable telling other people? Bisexual, Biromantic, Transgender male He doesnt try to hide who he is, but he doesn’t volunteer the information either. 

Do they have any mental illnesses? How do they cope? Max has bipolar depression and PTSD pre-war, and it doesnt exaclty get better after he thaws out Moslty he tries to keep busy. He deals w sensory overload by finding a small, quiet place to curl up and rest, favorite sensory stims for staying calm and focused are soft textures. he carries a small keychain stuffed animal he found in his pocket, and collects scraps of nice fabric and teddy bears. he’ll also run his hands thru his hair. he has an oral fixation and if he’s not occupied w a cigarrette he finds something to chew on, bites his nails, chews his fingers, picks at his skin too. 

Do they have any medical conditions? Is medicine/ treatment available for them? Max loathes doctors, his only regular visit is to refill testosterone. 

How much do they care about their outer appearance? What’s their “beauty routine”? How often do they shower/ bathe? Max neglects his appearance and hygiene and needs to be reminded to take care of himself. He loses weight and muscle mass quickly, noticing it can trigger dysphoria. 

What do they fear the most? He will tell you hes already lived through his worst fear, losing Maria and his entire family, but ultimately, he fears being alone and becoming a bad person. 

Their biggest flaw? Do they recognize it as a flaw? --ill get back to this one

What are they most insecure about? relationships w other people. he feels like trouble follows him and hurts the people he cares about, like hes the source of their misery and he cant figure out why they let him stay. 

What Wasteland threat do they fear the most? (ex. Deathclaws, super mutants, raiders) Max fears nothing. Bring it on

What’s their zodiac sign or which one do you think they relate to the most? What are their placements (if you know them)? (ex. Aries sun, Taurus moon, Aquarius Venus) Scorpio

What’s their Myers–Briggs Type? (ex. ENTP, ISFJ) ---ill get back to this one

What Harry Potter house would they be in? (ex. Gryffindor, Ravenclaw) probably slytherin

Which Pokemon Go team would they choose? (ex. Instinct, Valor, Mystic) instinct, he would love taking care of eggs and raising baby pokemon

Out of the nine forms of intelligence (rhythmic, spatial, linguistic, mathematical, kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, naturalistic, and existential) which one(s) are they really good at and which one(s) is(are) their weakest? best: rhythmic, spatial, naturalistic worst: intrapersonal, linguistic

What natural alignment are they? (ex. Lawful Good, Chaotic Evil) chaotic good

Do they have any hobbies? What are they? Max likes to play music, he’s decent w quitar, keyboard, and drums other than that he enjoys taking things apart and tinkering. 

Do they have a favorite holiday? How do they celebrate it? He used to be rather fond of Easter, for family traditions. Food, family, kids running around and playing. 

What’s their favorite season? Spring for sure, it brings relief from the worst of his depression

Do they have a temper or are they level headed? Hairpin temper, ready to fight at any trespass 

Do they express their emotions freely or hide their true feelings? express freely but it takes him a while to figure out what they are.

Are they a leader or a follower? He will say hes no leader but takes the role naturally when he has to work in a group. 

How do they come off to others? What first impression do they usually make? comes off as rather cold and aloof. 

Do they prefer to travel alone or with company? Who have they traveled with if any? Current companion if any? prefers company by alot. he’s usually w danse, the two are joined at the hip. he also enjoys being w deacon, preston, and maccready. he gets along well w piper and curie. i’m not sure if he’d ever find cait, but he’d fall ass over teakettle for her. i’m not sure if he’d ever travel w most of the other companions. 

Would you describe them as selfless or selfish? Does it depend on the situation? He’s pretty selfless, he cant stand suffering and will do his best to correct it. High empathy. 

What do they find most attractive in others? Name at least one psychological and physical trait. (doesn’t have to be romantic attraction) Kindness, honesty, and humor.  Physically, he has a weakness for full, round asses and nice thighs, hands that reveal secrets about their owners

Do they flirt often? How easily do they fall in love? its rare for him to be comfortable enough to be flirty, but when he is he’s damn good at it. he does fall quickly but takes a long time to understand the feelings for what they are. 

What’s their love life like? Are they interested in anyone or in a relationship? Mostly monogamous relationship w Danse

Do they prefer to solve things diplomatically or using violence? He gives diplomacy a chance, but he’s not good at it. breaking noses is easier. 

What is their combat style? What range do they prefer? Do they sneak? medium-close range, horrible at stealth. uses explosives and fire to confuse enemies and funnel them to his longer range combat partner, good at making a lane for snipers

What weapon(s) do they always carry with them? laser rifle, small pistol and a sidearm, and several combat knives kept razor sharp

Their most prized possession? a small collection of photos and holotapes codsworth preserved. he has a family photo of him, maria, his parents, and siblings w their children all together the tapes are mixes of pre-war rock n roll made by maria. 

Their thoughts on power armor? ugh, if i really have to. 

Favorite armor/ outfit? light, armored jackets, t-shirt, and jeans

How’s their aim? Do their hands shake while pointing a gun? he’s a pretty decent shot, but not spectacular. steady hands. 

What are their thoughts on having to kill on a daily bases in order to survive? Does it take a toll on them? Or do they shake it off rather easily? He becomes numb to it. it comes creeping up on him on Bad nights, and thats where the fear of becoming an evil person comes in. 

Thoughts on death if any? (ex. Fear it, accept it) “I am not allowed to die. I have people that need help.” He is very tired, lots of thoughts wishing for death, to rest. Tries to survive, but. He doesn’t really want to. 

Do they move around a lot or prefer to have a place to call home? Both, eventually calls Railroad HQ and Diamond City home, but never stays in one place for long. 

What’s their favorite location? gonna be cheesy: in Danse’s arms

Their opinions on ghouls, feral and not feral? Not feral: theyre just people. they didnt choose this. they’ve survived unknowable pain, and deserve respect and understanding.  feral: killing them is mercy. he feels that they must have suffered greatly in becoming feral, and their bodies are probably still incredibly painful to live in, resulting in their aggression. 

Do they scavenge for their supplies or simply buy them? both, also a big fan of trading.  “whos fuckin idea was it to use bottlecaps of all the goddam-”

Are they the type to get distracted and go off to an unknown nearby location or do they stay on track? Stay on track, but very curious and enjoys exploring. will note locations to scavenge later if he cant get to them right away

How do they sleep? Are they picky about where and how or can they sleep basically anywhere? Max likes a tight, secure place to sleep. he’s usually between and wall and danse. if he feels like he’s in a fairly safe location, getting to sleep is easy, tho he startles awake rather easily and has night terrors. if someone tries to wake him suddenly, like with a loud noise or grabbing and shaking him, they are very likely to get hurt. 

What’s their favorite radio station and song? (post-apocalypse) Atom bomb baby, uranium fever, and rocket 69

What’s their favorite post-apocalyptic food? Are they a picky eater? Do they know how to cook? favorite: sweets, candy, and mutfruit Not a picky eater, but he usually doesnt have much of an appetite either. He eats what hes given, usually without thinking about it or really tasting it He has a fair amount of knowledge and skill in the kitchen, being always at his mothers’ heels in everything domestic. he loves his parents and was always eager to help.

What’s their favorite beverage? Do they drink alcohol? he’s rather fond of quantum for the nastalgia and energy-drink buzz,  enjoys alcohol, likes beer, will drink whatever hes handed, if given a choice he likes whisky and nuka cola. 

Do they have any tag skills? --ill come back to this

Anything they like to collect? (ex. Unique weapons, Bobbleheads) comic books, magazines, any printed media toys and stuffed animals, fabric that feels nice. 

Are they good at disarming traps or do they constantly miss them? always walking into them. if he does notice one before hand he’s pretty bad at disarming them, he usually just tries to set them off from a safe distance.